Around the age of three, many children start to talk about a special friend for the first time. Building social skills for three year olds is a gradual process, full of wonderful moments and the occasional tearful one. Here is what to expect, and how you can help your child learn to connect with others.
How friendships change at three
Younger toddlers often play side by side, each busy with their own thing. At three, children begin to play together more. They might build a cubby as a team, act out a story or chase each other around the yard.
This new kind of play is exciting, but it also brings new challenges. Children need to share ideas, agree on rules, wait for a turn and cope when a friend wants to do something different. These are big skills, and most three year olds are still learning them. Disagreements are normal and are part of how children learn.
Key social skills for three year olds
Social skills grow over time, with lots of practice. At this age, children are usually working on:
- Taking turns and waiting, even for a short time.
- Sharing toys and space, which is often easier with support.
- Using words to say what they want, instead of grabbing or pushing.
- Noticing how other people feel, such as when a friend is sad.
- Joining in with a group game or activity.
- Saying sorry and making up after a disagreement.
Every child develops at their own pace. Some children are naturally outgoing, while others like to watch for a while before they join in. Both are fine. If you have questions about your child’s social development, your Maternal and Child Health (MCH) nurse or GP is a good person to talk to, and Raising Children Network has helpful information too.
Practical ways to help at home
Everyday moments are full of chances to practise friendship skills. Try these ideas:
- Play simple turn-taking games such as rolling a ball, board games for young children or building a tower one block each.
- Name feelings in books and real life: “He looks frustrated because his tower fell.”
- Give them words to use, like “Can I have a turn when you are finished?” or “I don’t like that, please stop.”
- Role-play tricky situations with teddies or dolls, such as two toys wanting the same truck.
- Arrange short playdates with one friend at a time, with a simple activity ready to go.
- Notice the good moments and say so: “You waited so patiently for your turn.”
When things go wrong
At some point, your child will snatch a toy, be left out of a game or say something unkind. It can be hard to watch, but these moments are opportunities to learn.
Stay calm and get down to your child’s level. Help each child say what happened and how they feel. Then guide them towards a solution, such as setting a timer for turns or finding a second toy. Over time, children start to solve these problems on their own, which is a wonderful skill to take into kinder and school.
Building friendships at Nest
In our Pre-Kindergarten room at Nest Early Learning in Keysborough, children aged three to four spend their days playing, creating and exploring together. Our educators gently support children to share, negotiate and care for each other, and our weekly incursions such as music, yoga and sport give children even more ways to connect. If you would like to see our three year old kinder program for yourself, we would love to show you around. Get in touch to book a tour or chat with our team.
